(Pyongyang, DPRK) – In an unprecedented deal, the world’s most customer-centric company has acquired the world’s most Jong Un-centric country outright in a cash and stock deal that values the country at up to $60 billion, or 2x revenues.
In what is being heralded as a triumph of capitalism, Amazon reportedly offered full employment to the nation of 20 million, and will hire the army of hackers, counterfeiters, and scam artists previously deployed by the East Asian nation as tech support and warehouse workers.
Amazon gains the world’s cheapest, most efficient workers in the bargain, while Kim Jong-Un is set to become one of the world’s most richest men. Villa prices in Switzerland and Manhattan moved on the news.
The deal is said to have been approved counter to the opposition of China. Sources note that the country did not want such a strong country and potential competitor to homegrown Alibaba on its border.
As of this writing, statues of Kim Jong-Il, the founder of North Korea, were being replaced with those of Jeff Bezos on Pyongyang Square.