Bezos’ Autobiography Mysteriously Appears at Top of Amazon Lists Despite Sales

(Seattle, Washington) – After working on the second half of the book during a notable dearth of questions during the congressional hearings last week, Jeff Bezos self-published a memoir today outlining how he believed he had already won capitalism.

The book makes several bold claims, including the notable claim that since Congress and Washington DC are “too chickenshit” to do anything otherwise, his net worth will continue to skyrocket, and politicians will continue to “lick his feet”.

Despite such claims, politicians were unanimously muted in their response, which is widely regarded by the public as an acknowledgement of the book’s truths.

The book has been praised by such diverse personalities as Warren Buffet and Kim Jong Un alike.

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