Ahead of FOMC Meeting, Emerging Markets See New God of Money Deity Spring Up Overnight

(WORLDWIDE) – Anthropologists, religious scholars, and priests of widespread religions have been left puzzled in countries from Mexico to India as a new God of Money deity has been canonized seemingly overnight.

Bearing a resemblance to “an American”, the deity has appeared in countries with Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and Pastafarianism traditions as a saint and deity alike, but scholars note that countries with the greatest reliance on dollars have seen the most widespread appearances of the mysterious god.

Worshippers typically kneel or prostrate themselves before the god and pray for dollar-denominated loans, and utilize a variety of tactics, such as waving posters or figures of President Donald Trump in front of the god.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *