New $500b fund raised by ex-banker

(Washington, DC) – In a first for the industry, half a trillion dollars was raised by the CB Fund with Steve Mnuchin as sole manager in a matter of days, marking the quickest such an investment fund has been announced and raised.

The previous record for such a fund was the $100 billion Vision Fund, raised by the philanthropist Masayoshi Son.

Characteristic of this new breed of funds is the fact that they “are almost like donations, with no expectation of returns”, say analysts.

With no reporting required nor transparency, investors can expect their money to at least halve in a matter of months.

Representatives of the CCCP are said to have noted their approval over such measures, noting that such top-down investment plans are what mark the “supreme success” of Communist ideology.

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