Trump Orders Kodak to Build Time Machine to Hold Elections Pre-COVID 
Robinhood Eliminates Unused Portions of UI/UX 
Infinitely Growing Tree Discovered in Silicon Valley Industrial Park 
Stanford Eliminates Concept of “Profit” From Accounting Textbooks, Replaces With Revenue Growth 
Trump and Plutocrats Laugh as “Proles” Burn Each Other, Unaware of the Real Issues 
Banks Release 500-Year Personal Loan Programs, Give People the Same Power as Governments
(NEW YORK) – Consumers now have the same kind of sovereign finance abilities as Treasury…
Chinese Communist Party Rebrands Itself After Lengthy Struggle Session
After an unprecedented struggle session notable for its sheer size, the Chinese Communist Party issued…
American Airlines Unveils Class of Seats on Floor of Aisle, Leg Room is 2x That of Normal Tiers
(Fort Worth, TX) – “As safety, not excuses, is our primary concern, passengers in the…
Casino Companies Pivot to Stocktrading, Replace Sports Book
(Las Vegas) – The major gaming companies, including Wynn, Las Vegas Sands, and MGM, have…
Ahead of FOMC Meeting, Emerging Markets See New God of Money Deity Spring Up Overnight
(WORLDWIDE) – Anthropologists, religious scholars, and priests of widespread religions have been left puzzled in…
Trillions of Dollars Raised in Record Two Month Crowdfunding Campaign
(NASDAQ) – Millennials donated record amounts to their favorite companies starting in March, in what…
Amazon Acquires North Korea in Expansion Bid
(Pyongyang, DPRK) – In an unprecedented deal, the world’s most customer-centric company has acquired the…
Airlines Expand Into Private Prison Business, Gain on Success of Deterring Crime
(United States) – Proven to reduce recidivism by more than 100%, the new Flying Prisons…
New $500b fund raised by ex-banker
(Washington, DC) – In a first for the industry, half a trillion dollars was raised…
Inflation is Equivalent to Fake News, Polls Say
(United States) – The majority of Americans do not believe in price inflation, and believe…