Powell Achieves Boyhood Dream of Creating Bank of United States, ‘All I Ever Wanted’

(Washington, DC) – Carrying out the dreams of Alexander Hamilton has been his sole purpose in life, Jerome Powell announced behind closed doors, and gushed that creating a new Bank of the United States has succeeded beyond his wildest imagination.

Although the Federal Reserve Act is still intact, effectively we have the Fed as the sole maestro of both monetary and fiscal policy, by allocating capital to failing companies directly, Powell is said to have announced.

In tears, he spoke about his last remaining task as being finding a suitable opponent for a duel, real or virtual.

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