The 3 Most Likely Shapes of Recovery, According to Experts

(New York, NY) – Instead of just saying they don’t know anything, analysts at JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, and Morgan Stanley have each projected the most likely shape of the recovery, rejecting both the V and U-shaped theories.

Drawing on inspiration from the late Jurassic to the Romantic style of classic music, the current leading theories are all characterized by an extreme nature, the better for the theory to stand out in a crowded field of other theories.

“Honestly at this point, it’s reading entrails. I have no idea what’s going to happen, and neither does anyone else, but for the sake of my job, I have to pretend I do,” said an anonymous analyst at one of the aforementioned banks.

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