Trump Orders Kodak to Build Time Machine to Hold Elections Pre-COVID

(Washington DC) – Following scrutiny of the original successful $770 million loan, President Donald Trump ordered the disbursement of another $800 million tranche to the polaroid maker in order to fund R&D efforts into time travel.

The funds will be used to shore up the failing company’s balance sheet, allow insiders to further pillage the company, and the remainder used to hire theoretical physicists to determine whether such a feat is possible.

Citing the “necessity of returning the country to a nostalgic era of peace”, Trump issued an executive order that the country be rewound to a time period when coronavirus didn’t exist.

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